Life and Lexis

Archive for June 2012

  1. Life is what you make of it.
    An internal locus of control is necessary to achieve any greatness in life. Once you stop believing that things simply happen to you and realize that the direction of your life is determined by your actions and reactions, you can begin to move towards the type of life you want to live.
    Of course, no change is immediate and there will always be obstacles, but if you’re not satisfied with the path you’re on its never too late to take steps towards where you would rather be. Imagine the life you wish you had and figure out how to make it happen.
  2. Happiness is a choice and perception creates reality.
    It is erroneous to believe that any person or thing can make you happy. We often think “If I had this, I would be happy,” or “Once I do this, I will be happy.”  In reality, happiness is just a state of mind. You can be happy now, if you truly want to be. Just look at what you do have, instead of what you don’t.
    If you are reading this, its reasonable to assume you are able to see. If tomorrow you lost your vision you would do anything to get it back. Appreciate what you have while you have it and choose to be happy now.
  3. There are lessons in every experience. Find them.
    It is important to remember that learning does not begin or end in the classroom. There is something to be learned from every experience we have and every person we encounter. Every difficulty we face will teach us about the world or ourselves. Every individual has a story to tell, if we’ll only listen. Actively seeking out these lessons in experiences will allow you to grow and learn for the rest of your life.
  4. Plan for the future and learn from the past, but live in neither.
    A common mistake we all make is forgetting to live in the present. So many of us dwell on the past, whether its the inability to move beyond regrets and losses or the longing for days gone by. The past is gone and will not return, at least not in the same form. Though it is necessary to plan for the future, it is not here yet and you need only live it out once it arrives. Don’t let regrets or worries waste the time that you do have. You are here, right now. Feel your pulse, listen to your breathing – stop planning to live and live right now.
  5. Parents are a blessing, appreciate them while you can.
    For those of us who were fortunate enough to move home after college, the adjustment issues are undeniable. After being on our own for so long, we again live with the people who raised us and often times, have to play by their rules. The benefits of living at home are undeniable — you save on pricey rent and utilities, get a cozy home and (if you’re lucky) someone who might even clean up after you. The biggest benefit, however, is immeasurable. You get to know your parents, as adults, for the first time.
    It’s important that we don’t see our parents as banks or sources for food or shelter. Even though we don’t always see eye-to-eye, we owe our parents a lot more than we may recognize.
    Whether or not you live at home, if you’re fortunate enough to have access to your parents, get to know them. Not who they were when you were a child, you already know that. Ask the questions you were too afraid to ask, or simply didn’t think of, when you were a kid. Whether you agree or disagree, get along or don’t, you may be surprised by what you find.
  6. It’s okay to take a break. Fun is essential.
    Immediately after I graduated from college, I felt the need to find a job. Quickly. I mistakenly took the first job I interviewed for, and found myself in a 9 to 5 (often working overtime) just 2 weeks after graduation. I was underpaid and overworked with little hope of  advancement.  Not to mention, I wasn’t passionate about the work and my boss was undeniably unfit for responsibilities. I had little time outside of work to do anything I enjoyed and I found myself sacrificing spirituality at a low price. I needed the money, but this just wasn’t worth it.
    A break after college (or a bad job) is not only recommended, I believe it’s essential. It gives you time to find direction and work through any burn out you’re experiencing. Don’t sit idly by or spend your break on the couch though. Have fun, try new things and  do what you want to do before you commit yourself to  perpetual monotony. Or better yet, use this time to figure out a way to make money doing something you love.
  7. Find balance with money.
    People who are stressed about finances are often poor at budgeting. To feel better about money, know how much you have and how you’re spending it. Plan in advance, calculate your expenses and set a monthly budget for yourself. Spend responsibly but don’t be so frugal that you are unhappy. Most importantly, save! Work your savings account into your budget as a necessary expense. It’ll come in handy when you need that break or a change in direction.
  8. Confidence will take you far.
    Successful people aren’t greater than anyone else, they just think that they are. In the real world, confidence is key. Many times, people get what they want through hard work and self-confidence. Shyness and lack of assertion too often get  in the way of realizing potential. Unlike college, your success is measured by your social intelligence and not just your GPA, so having been a good student will not be enough. Everyone suffers from self-doubt at times, but it is important to overcome these feelings quickly. Break down self-imposed barriers and squash negative self-talk. The more you believe in yourself, the more others will believe in you.
  9. Ignorance is dangerous, arm yourself with knowledge.
    We’ve all heard the saying that “ignorance is bliss,” but what many don’t know is that ignorance can also cause great harm. Ignorance breeds hate, fear and insecurity. Fight this by actively seeking knowledge about new things. We should strive to be part of the solution in the world, not the problem.
  10. Discuss ideas, not people.
    Gossip comes from a place of insecurity. By putting others down, you (falsely) feel that you are elevating yourself. In reality, your insecurities are showing. And insecurity is not cute. It happens to everyone from time to time, but catch yourself when you begin to speak negatively behind someone’s back. Recognize that you’re just trying to make yourself feel better, but are making yourself look bad.
    Instead, showcase your wonderfulness by discussing ideas and issues. You will be much more like-able and pleasant to be around. Don’t partake in gossip even if you weren’t the one who started it and remember, more often than not, ‘those who gossip to you gossip about you’.
  11. If your actions don’t mirror your beliefs, it’s time to reassess.
    Many of us fail to recognize our unintentional hypocrisy. Ideals, by definition, are hard to live up to. Though  we may be far from realizing our potential, we must make sure that our actions are at least in-line with what we believe. Failure to do so shows immaturity or lack of true conviction.
  12. Keep in touch with those who matter and be the friend you’d like to have.
    After college graduation, it becomes a lot harder to nurture friendships. Friends no longer live with you or even in the same town. For 4 years, many of us were spoiled by easily maintained friendships. After college, if you don’t make an active effort, many of these friendships will wither away. Make it a point to stay in touch with the people who matter the most to you. Recognize that many friends do fall out of touch, and that’s okay. People grow apart and there is no shame in it. Know who your true friends are and keep them around.
  13. The only failure is not trying.
     You haven’t failed at anything until you have exhausted all routes to success. More often than not, failure precedes success. It’s your choice when you want to give up, but if you keep trying you’ll find a way to get there eventually.
  14. Embrace change.
    Change is the only constant in life and resistance to change only brings pain. In order to be happy, we must accept that nothing is forever. The sooner we internalize this, the better able we will be to move from one stage of life to the next.
  15. Not everyone will like you. Be yourself anyways.
    Humans are an infinitely diverse species, with a great deal of diversity in opinion. Not everyone will agree with you, but it’s always good to have informed opinions. Don’t stretch yourself too thin and know when to say no. It is likely that if you are always trying to  please others, you are not being true to yourself. True freedom is when you stop seeking validation from others and validate yourself.